Monday, June 14, 2010

Thankskilling

Plots for horror movies that are actually inspiring are few and far between. 95% of these plots involve an evil __(noun)__ stalking an intrepid group of __(plural noun)__.

Now, in all fairness, I knew what I was getting into when I put in Thankskilling. The plot consists of a homicidal turkey that is awakened from it's necromantic sleep when a wandering dog pees on a mini-totem pole in the forest. The timing of this significant event happens to coincide with Thanksgiving break and five friends (in the loosest sense possible) embark on an adventure to party.

You can guess what happens next. A bloodthirsty, foul-mouthed (haha but seriously) turkey systematically offs each character and/or their parents. Ok, so it's not typical for parental murder in most slasher flicks, I'll give it that. Stretch those events over 60 minutes and there's not much more to the movie than that.

To wrap this up, here is a short list of things I learned in Thankskilling:

1. Groucho Marx masks fool everyone

2. A turkey's natural habitat is a tepee

3. Dispose properly of radioactive waste

4. Reading montages are awesome

5. Lie to your dad - he will love you

6. Nipple close-ups are not that great



My "Brain Cells Lost" rating for Thankskilling is 9 million out of a possible 10 million.